After around age 50, men’s erections change. They become more difficult to raise, lose firmness, and wilt more easily. Many men wonder if they’re developing erectile dysfunction (ED). That’s quite possible. By age 65 most men have some level of ED. But during the years from 50 to 65, here’s what men should know:
ED means difficulty raising erections from masturbation.
According to the American Urological Association, ED)is “the inability to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for satisfactory sexual performance.” Huh? That’s absurdly vague. For practical purposes, ED means that a man who’s sober (no alcohol or other erection-impairing drugs) has difficulty raising or cannot raise erections during extended masturbation.
Eventual ED is likely but not inevitable.
The best research shows that at age 65, 10 percent of men have no ED and around 90 percent of men do, usually mild to moderate, meaning that they may still be able to have vaginal intercourse, but it’s challenging working up to it. Hence the adage: What young men want to do all night takes old men all night to do.
Most men aged 50 to 60 suffer not from ED, but erection dissatisfaction.
Starting around age 50 (earlier for smokers and/or diabetics), erections change. Men lose the ability to raise erections from fantasies. Fondling becomes necessary. When erections appear, they rise more slowly and are not as firm as they used to be. And minor distractions may cause wilting. But if you can still raise erections during masturbation, you don’t. have ED You have erection dissatisfaction.
Post-50 erection changes are normal and inevitable. But some lifestyle factors can postpone or even temporarily reverse them: falling madly in love, getting in shape (see below), and making love earlier in the day when you have more energy.
Unfortunately, other factors exacerbate erection dissatisfaction: anxiety, alcohol and other drugs, relationship problems, and sex when fatigued, i.e., late at night after a big dinner with wine.
Good ways to maintain erections: a hot shower before sex, and during lovemaking, deep breathing, slow pace, and sensual touch all over.
Erection dissatisfaction can enhance lovemaking.
Young couples often have problems because young men become aroused faster than young women. Young men are often all finished before young women have become aroused. Post-50 erection changes slow men’s arousal so their erotic pace more closely matches women’s. A slower pace allows plenty of time for kissing, cuddling, and whole-body massage, all essential to most women’s enjoyment of sex. Consequently, for many older couples, erection dissatisfaction is a gift.
A healthy lifestyle minimizes the risk of ED.
Erection depends on blood flow through the penis. Anything that impairs it increases ED risk: smoking, diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, heart disease, being overweight, little regular exercise, more than two alcoholic drinks a day, and fewer than five daily servings of fruits and vegetables. Avoiding these risk factors usually preserves erection function, at least for a while.
The drugs are worth trying, but don’t expect miracles.
Everyone has heard of Viagra, but Cialis is actually more popular. It’s effective longer—24 to 36 hours instead of three to five. Erection drugs work for two-thirds of men. They don’t work for one-third. Over time, many men need larger doses. But as dosage increases, so do side effects, notably, headache and nasal congestion. Finally, the drugs have no effect on arousal. Many men feel disappointed with the drugs. Fewer than half refill their prescriptions.
If you’re no longer having intercourse, you don’t need erections.
Erections are not necessary for great sex. Intercourse becomes problematic for older couples. Men have erection issues and post-menopausal women develop vaginal dryness that can make intercourse uncomfortable, even with lubricants. Many older couples jettison intercourse in favor of mutual massage, oral sex, and sex toys—and still enjoy hot sex.
Men can have orgasms without erections.
You don’t need erections to have orgasms. With sufficient stimulation, men with semi-erect or even flaccid penises can enjoy great orgasms.
The drugs work best in combination with sex therapy.
There’s more to satisfying sex than erections. Relationship issues also matter, especially if sex has been a sore point or become rare. Consider sex therapy Visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.
Erection changes can mark the end of sex or a new erotic beginning.
When erection dissatisfaction develops, some men think it’s the end of sex. Others accommodate and continue to enjoy lovemaking as long as they live. The choice is yours.
