Better Orgasms
Q: I’m not necessarily into butt stuff, but I heard about “P-spot” orgasms and I was intrigued. If there’s a better orgasm out there, I want to have it. How do I go about giving myself a p-spot orgasm without doing any damage or making a mess? Will it hurt? Do I need a special toy? I’ve never put anything up there before.
A: Some men can achieve intense orgasms when having their prostate gland massaged, either by a partner or with a sex toy. The stimulation is direct, with a finger, a penis, or a device applied through the rectum. The targeted area is sometimes called the P-spot and men who experience prostate orgasms sometimes feel them all over their body.
The prostate is a walnut-sized gland found below the bladder. Its only function is to produce seminal fluid, which mixes with sperm and forms the ejaculate propelled from the penis during orgasm.
However, the prostate gland is surrounded by nerves that are especially receptive to sexual stimulation. In addition, prostate orgasms cause contraction of twice as many pelvic floor muscles as penile orgasms.
Men usually have prostate orgasms through one of three methods.
- The first involves a partner and is sometimes called prostate play, prostate massage, or prostate milking. The partner inserts a clean, lubricated finger into the man’s rectum about two inches, aiming toward the navel. He or she should be able to feel the prostate at that point. Massage should be gentle with small strokes in several directions.
- The second method involves a sex toy, either alone or with a partner. Men may consider visiting a sex shop or an online retailer to learn more about the different sizes and styles. Sex toys should always be clean and lubricated.
- Men who have sex with men sometimes use the third method, in which one partner inserts his penis into the other partner’s rectum, thus stimulating the prostate through anal sex. Just remember that the anus does not produce lubricating fluid like the vagina does, so use a silicone-based lubricant for a better experience.
Painful Ejaculation
Q: A couple of years ago, I had a problem where it would hurt when I ejaculated. Eventually, the problem went away on its own, but now it’s back. It’s kind of a dull, pulsing pain. When I look it up, there are just too many potential causes out there and I don’t want to be a hypochondriac. I don’t want to go see a doctor if it’s just going to go away again, I don’t have insurance…but I do want to know what it is. Can you help?
A: It is unfortunate that you are having these problems. The most common cause of painful ejaculation is an infection of the prostate, urethra, bladder, testis, or epididymis. If this is the case, seek medical attention in order to get antibiotics. However, a dull pulsing pain sounds more like an issue with tension and spasm of your pelvic floor muscles. I have linked a useful guide on how to relax the pelvic floor muscles. If that does not work, I have treated patients in my office with Radial pressure wave therapy with good success. I have also used protocol 2 on the Emsella Chair for men with recurrent pelvic pain. Both of these technologies are only available in physician’s offices.
