Anal Fingering
Q: Like most men, I like to masturbate. But sometimes, when I’m doing it, I put things in my butthole—mostly my finger(s). Is this normal or I am turning gay? I don’t know—please help.
A: Anal play/stimulation is perfectly normal and in no way indicates someone’s sexual orientation. All genders can enjoy anal stimulation because that area has some pleasurable nerve endings. Some people don’t like it and others love it. It’s a question of personal preference. Using your or a partner’s finger, or using a sex toy made for anal play is fine—using other objects not meant to go there is not. Anal toys always have a base to them because the sphincter muscle is strong and can suck up into the rectum an object that you put in there. In fact, emergency rooms routinely see people with items lodged deep in their rectum that a patient put up there for stimulation and that they cannot remove themselves, and that thus have to be removed surgically.
Understanding My Fetish
Q: I’m a middle-aged straight male and I have had love for women’s panties. It started when I was young, I started to wear and masturbate in my mom’s nylon fullback panties. I don’t know why it started. Maybe you can help with that. I am 50 years old now, and I still wear panties 24/7. I also still get very turned on by the sight of my wife’s panties on the floor. I must masturbate at least twice a day wearing and playing with my wife’s panties. She knows and has accepted my fetish from the beginning. She still gets excited when she hands me her panty she wore that day and I sniff a little and wear them while masturbating for her. I’m just trying to remember or find out why I get so sexually excited about panties. And why I started with panties. Once my mother caught me with a pair of my sister’s panties and just yelled at me and embarrassed me in front of my family, but yet I still wear panties. Help me understand this.
A: Wearing female undergarments is a pretty common fetish. I’m so happy for you that you don’t have to hide this from your wife and that she embraces it and includes it in your sexuality together. It’s hard to say how fetishes develop as there are several hypotheses. In your case, it could be that touching your mom’s or sister’s silky panties was comforting (some men attach to stockings for the same reason), and then during your puberty, when you started masturbating with the panties present, your brain paired the panties with arousal and voila, a fetish was born. This is the simplest explanation, but there may be other pathways with how it became so ingrained in your brain (check out our blog posts on fetishes on this site). You asked about why you chose your mom’s or sister’s panties, and the answer may also be simple—because it was easily available.
