Q: Me and my boyfriend want to make anal as easy and fun as possible. Got any tips?
A: Here are a few tips for you to think about to make sure your anal sex experience is safe, pleasurable, or at least pain free.
- Be fully aroused, so foreplay is important
- If you are anxious about being “dirty” there all you really need is a shower. But you can also use an anal douche if you ae concerned about this aspect
- Start small: start anal stimulation with your fingers or small sex toy like “butt plugs”
- Use lots of lube—more than you would for vaginal penetration, and keep reapplying
- No need to go deep—most of the nerve endings are close to the opening. Going too deep may be painful
- Go slow—vigorous action, especially at first, is not a good idea
- Talk Talk Talk. Make sure you communicate how you are feeling and let your partner know what you like and don’t like
- Include all other forms of stimulation as well (like clitoral) as it is difficult for many women to orgasm with just anal intercourse. If both partners have penises, be sure to give lots of attention to both, too. Do what feels good and what you know your partner enjoys
- DO NOT put your penis or finger into the vagina if it has been in the anus. Wash yourself, or change your condom or you risk getting a bacteria resulting in a urinary tract infection
- For the receiver, it’s important to go at your own pace, so find a position where you control the pace (sitting on your partner’s lap, lying on your side). Doggy style is a good position but it won’t give you the control
- Practice Kegel exercises to gain better control of your sphincter muscles
- Although ejaculating in an anus will not impregnate a woman, if some of the ejaculate leaks out and reaches the vaginal opening, it is possible
- The biggest risk is transmitting an STI (in fact it’s riskier than with vaginal or oral penetration), so make sure to use a condom
- A good resource is Tristan Taormino’s “The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women”
Circumcision/Can’t retract foreskin
Q: Over the past 2 months I am unable to peel off the skin on my penis to get out the head. When attempting to peel it, it stops at a certain point and it gets hurts a lot. I have checked myself for every know problem known to man for reproductive organs and everyone says I have nothing to worry about, that my results are good. Do you recommend circumcision in this situation?
A: What you are describing is a condition called “Phimosis” .This is when the foreskin cannot be pulled back. It sort of can feel like the foreskin is stuck or “glued” to the glans (head of the penis). The main symptom is inflammation and sometimes pain with erections. You really must see a medical doctor to have this checked out. It is not an uncommon condition, but one that needs to be looked at if it causes you discomfort. If it is in fact Phimosis, then a doctor can try first by prescribing a cream. But circumcision is sometimes the solution. Only a doctor can tell you that upon examination.
Condom use for uncircumcised penis
Q: I’ve recently been looking at demonstrations at how to put on condoms, but what I’ve noticed is some that there isn’t that many that show or say what to do when you have a foreskin. The one that do mention foreskins say that I need to pull the foreskin back first, I’ve tried this but found it painful. Do I need to pull my foreskin back or can I put on a condom without pulling it back?
A: Generally speaking, if you own a foreskin, you may want to put on a condom a little differently to give you maximum pleasure. Try placing a drop of water based lubricant inside the condom (before you unroll it). This can help in getting the condom on, but also it can increase sensation. Pull back the foreskin then unroll the condom toward the base of your penis. Once you have put on the condom, push the foreskin up toward the tip while holding on the base of the condom to secure it. This allows the foreskin to move freely during intercourse. However, as long as the condom is put on correctly, it doesn’t really matter whether you pull back the foreskin or not. So, Yes, you can put on the condom without pulling back the foreskin first.
