The New Normal
Q: Hi Dr. Laurie. I recently started going through menopause, and while some symptoms have yet to make an appearance, others have hit me quite hard. Perhaps the worst and most uncomfortable is the vaginal dryness. I’ve never experienced anything like it. I knew that it might happen, but I had no idea just how dry and unpleasant it could be.
Is there any way to combat it? I’m chugging water like it’s going out of style, but I was wondering if there are any vitamins or supplements that would help? It’s also so dry I’m wondering if you think it’s just menopause or that it could be a sign of something else. I’m really hoping I can find a way around this and that I don’t have to accept it as my new normal.
Thanks!
A: Ugh, aging!! I like to see this as a fortunate event when I consider the alternative. Unfortunately I have seen one too many people die before even reaching menopause, so I personally tend to see each year as a blessing. But I can’t lie, the physical changes suck! And vaginal dryness is the biggie. Vaginal dryness is in fact the symptom that will affect our sexuality the most as it can make intercourse rather unpleasant.
Thankfully, there is something to be done. I suggest you see your doctor and discuss a prescription vaginal hormonal cream that you insert directly into your vagina. The estrogen cream will help restore some of the moisture you have lost and will keep your vagina young. Also, I strongly recommend that you use a lubricant (my fave is a silicone-based lube) whenever you have intercourse. Please check out some of my blogs posts on sex and aging. I would also recommend you read my book “The Sex Bible for People Over 50” which will offer you all kinds of tips and tricks to maintain a healthy sex life throughout the aging process.
Picking The Right Lube
Q: Hi Dr. Laurie, I keep getting conflicting reports when I look online, and it’s really annoying. I’d like to use lube with my partner AND with my sex toys. I’ve never really found one that I like. And I keep reading that there are some types you can’t use with sex toys, and some you can, but some also last longer and work better than others. Can you recommend the best one for partner sex and the best one for solo play with silicone toys? I’m tired of these conflicting opinions.
A: When it comes to lube, there is no one size fits all. There are so many choices that sometimes you have to experiment a bit to find the one you like best (in terms of brands and type). If you are using toys, it will depend on what the toy is made of. For example, you can use any type of lube with glass dildos. But with toys made of silicone, you should only use water-based lubes. A silicone lube on top of silicone, will break down the materials. But when it comes to human penetration, I like lubes that feel greasier and last longer, so my favorite is a silicone-based lube. However, there are oil-based lubes that are great too (but you can’t use those with condoms). The ones I can’t stand are gel-type lubes (like what the gynecologist uses for examinations) as they tend to dry up quickly. But that’s me.
You might speak to others who will tell you they have other preferences. It’s best to try different ones. You don’t have to invest a fortune either. Some sex shops for example may even give you individual packets/samples to try. I should also mention that some women find certain types more irritating than others. I tend to recommend lubes that have the least amount of ingredients in them. I know lots of women who use coconut oil as a lubricant too (but never with condoms), and it’s all-natural.
