As sex toys go, blindfolds are nowhere near as popular as vibrators, but if you’re so inclined, blindfolds can deliver wonderful sexual enhancement—especially in heterosexual relationships when worn by the woman.
Why? In part because of differences in how men and women become aroused. Sexologists agree that of the five senses, the biggest turn-on for most men is what they see. That’s why women wear the vast majority of lingerie. Men see women in skimpy garb and it fuels their erotic fantasies. Men’s visual preference also explains why pornography sites rank among men’s top Internet destinations.
Sexologists also agree that most women become most sexually aroused by touch: cuddling, hot baths, sensual massage, spa treatments, the feel of silk, and warm fuzzy robes and slippers. When women wear blindfolds, sight deprivation focuses their attention on loving touch and boosts the enjoyment it delivers.
As a result, lovemaking with the woman blindfolded can be a win-win. He gets more turned on seeing her blindfolded. And she can revel more in the intimate joy of his caresses. Finally, most women want to feel desirable and desired. When men enjoy adding blindfolds to lovemaking, they want their lovers more and that enhances both partners’ pleasure.
Another reason blindfolds can enhance sex is that, for many couples, it’s something new and different. Novel experiences—anything and everything new—raise blood levels of the brain chemical (neurotransmitter) that governs libido, dopamine. Boost dopamine and sex feels more exciting. Of course, many couples make love with eyes closed, but there’s a big emotional difference between voluntarily eye-shutting and being blindfolded. Blindfolds are more dramatic and erotic.
Blindfolds are also a bit kinky. They’re a classic element of domination/submission (D/s) play, and bondage, discipline, sado-masochism (BDSM). Surveys suggest that only 2 to 3 percent of American couples are deep into these erotic variations, but in surveys, many more people, on the order of half, admit that they have some D/s or BDSM fantasies. This helps explain the wild popularity of the BDSM romance trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey. For the large group of lovers who shy away from “heavy” BDSM, but fantasize about D/s play, blindfolds can be a fun, non-threatening way to be a bit naughty and kinky.
Wearing blindfolds also appeals to some men. That’s fine and perfectly normal, and can be just as sex-enhancing as the other way around. Have fun however you like. But deprived of sight, men can’t get turned on by the vision of their lovers’ beauty, which is why most blindfold play involves men placing them over women’s eyes, or doms using them on subs.
Of course, many women would rather not be blindfolded. If the woman in your life says “no thanks,” always respect that. No one should ever feel pressured into sex they find off-putting. But women who are open to blindfold play usually say that it deepens their enjoyment of gentle loving touch.
Try combining blindfold play with slow, sensual, whole-body massage. You don’t have to be a trained masseur/masseuse. Just touch your lover gently all over with your palms or fingertips or a feather or silk scarf—use your imagination. For additional enjoyment, use a massage lotion (available at some pharmacies, and bath and body shops). And if you’d like to improve your massage skills, I recommend the Erotic Massage book and video by Kenneth Ray Stubbs (available from Amazon).
Blindfolded sex enhances not only touch but the other senses as well: hearing, smell, and taste. Many lovers say that when blindfolded, they can delve deeper into music, and experience more enjoyment from fragrances and flavors. Surprise your blindfolded lover with scented candles or massage lotions, juicy fruits, shrimp cocktail, or anything she (or he) likes.
Meanwhile, if you feel curious about D/s or BDSM but have never raised the subject, blindfold play may open a door. Blindfolds are a safe, non-threatening way to expand erotic horizons.
Blindfolds are easily portable. They weight nothing, require no space in luggage, and allow you to enjoy some sexy spice wherever you go. Consider taking one on your next vacation.
Finally, blindfolds are discreet. Sex toy catalogs offer elaborate leather models with metal buckles, but men’s ties and the sleep masks sold at pharmacies work just as well—and if people see them lying around, they won’t suspect a thing. Have fun!
