We love our pets. In many ways, they are really man’s best friend or maybe you consider yours your fur-baby. Either way, pets are part of the family–so much so that many of us let our pets sleep in the same room or even in the same bed as us. While there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with this, it could be contributing to your intimacy issues. Here’s how:
Competing for Attention
First, your pet may be causing you to compete for your partner’s attention. This could be as simple as taking your spot next to them when you get up from the couch or jumping on them when they walk in the door so you don’t get the chance to kiss them right away. Maybe they even squeeze in between you two when you’re cuddling on the couch or lying down next to each other in bed. Smaller dogs and cats may like to sit in your lap, which can be incredibly inconvenient if you’re wanting to get to third base. Whatever form it may take, if your pet is competing for your partner’s attention, that could be impacting your ability to have sex whenever you’d like.
Interruptions
In some of the same ways our pets demand our attention, they also tend to interrupt our most intimate moments. Barking, meowing, and scratching at the door are all examples of ways our pets can interrupt you while you are trying to get it on with a partner. Even worse, if you are single and bringing home a guest, your partner possibilities may be limited by allergies and pet compatibility. These interruptions can make it very difficult to finish what you started, which can be incredibly frustrating.
Distractions
Our pets can be distracting as well as interrupting. Not only are their barks and meows annoying and distracting, but their odors can pull your attention away from the moment as well. Pet hair, dander, or worse–urine and feces–can produce incredibly unpleasant smells which can completely ruin the moment. This is especially a problem with people with ADHD or who are otherwise easily distracted. When this happens, you can be completely taken out of the mood with no hope of coming back. Your sense of smell can be so important in feeling sexual or intimate that if you personally smell like your pet because you need to wash your hands or your clothes, it may be a deal-breaker! It can also be inhibiting to know you have a pet in the room watching you or if you are worried they may come to try to lick you or join in some other way. These distractions can range from mildly annoying to catastrophic to your intimate life.
What to Do About It
Okay, so we talked about how your pets can be hurting your sex life, so now what? What can be done about it? You probably don’t want to get rid of your fur-baby, but what can you do about the havoc they are wreaking on your intimate life? The first and most important step is being honest with yourself and your partner. Like any other obstacle in your intimate life, you need to be sure that you are exercising clear communication. How is your pet getting in the way of you getting down? What do you need to be different in order to let you get in the mood? Do you just need the pet off the bed or do you need them completely out of the room? Is it the presence of your pet or the smell? Once you have that narrowed down, then the rest is just logistical problem-solving. Maybe you need to get your pet a nice comfy bed of his own so he can leave you alone while you have sex. Maybe you need to invest in some occupying toys that your furry friends can play with so they aren’t trying to get so much of your attention. Maybe you need to wash your sheets more often to keep their odors at bay. Another solution may be to play some sexy music so that you cannot hear your dog scratching at the door trying to get in or the cat meowing at you with disapproval. Whatever you do may take some trial and error, but the return on investment in getting your pet out of your sex life will be so worth it.
Pets in the bed are one of many sexual concerns that could be impacting your life in the bedroom. If you or your partner are experiencing sexual concerns of any kind, it may help to talk to a professional. Dr. Stacy Friedman holds a Doctorate degree in Human Sexuality in addition to a Masters in Clinical Sexology and is a Certified Sex Coach. She offers remote complimentary 15-minute consultations and ongoing coaching sessions.
