Recently I have received several emails asking me about pegging, what it is, and how to do it safely. In a popular online magazine in the UK, pegging was called “the latest bedroom trend.” The word and act have also been described or mentioned in popular movies, like Deadpool, and TV shows. So what’s the deal with pegging?
In the simplest of terms, pegging is when a woman penetrates a man with a strap-on dildo (although strap-ons are also used by lesbians, trans folks, and genderqueer people). More and more straight men are getting acquainted with their butts and the pleasure anal play can give them. In fact, the sale of prostate massagers has increased more and more in the last few years. Stimulation of the prostate gland from anal penetration can be very pleasurable for men.
For women, the pleasure may come from the control they feel when penetrating their partner. It’s kind of a power dynamic shift that many women enjoy. Also, they get to feel what it’s like to have a penis, sort of. As for physical pleasure, women can grind their pelvis into the man’s behind, thus stimulating their clitoris—an added bonus.
So now that you know what it is, how do you go about it? If this is something that interests you as a man, you may be wondering how to bring it up with your partner. Sexual communication is always key to a great sex life. That means talking about our likes and dislikes, things we may want to try, etc. You may want to approach the subject in general, by saying something like “I read about this practice, pegging, what do you make of it?” Obviously, if the response is disgust or lots of negativity, it may not be something you want to ask. But if your partner sounds open-minded, you could say “ that might be fun to try!”
So let’s say you got your partner to agree to a session of pegging, now what? Anal play should be done slowly and mindfully. You don’t want your partner to just strap one on and go for it, especially if you have never done anal play before. First off, get acquainted with your anus. Start by relaxing, prep with lube, and start with the insertion of one finger. Once this feels comfortable, you can graduate to different sized butt plugs. All this you can do on your own. Next, decide on the size of dildo you want to try.
Now, a word about anal hygiene. To be properly prepared, you should start with an anal douche (although it’s not totally necessary), especially if you are a little squeamish about possible messiness. Have a good bowel movement a few hours before. Of course, this doesn’t mean there won’t be any remnants—it is a butthole after all! Always use a good lubricant before inserting anything—I recommend silicone (more slippery) or water-based ones if you’re using a silicone dildo. It is also recommended to use condoms on your sex toys. It makes them easier to clean and protects you from spreading STIs. Make sure you clean your toys with soap and water or a sex toy cleaner after each use.
Last words on this: whether you are the receiver or the giver, make sure you obtain enthusiastic consent!
