Q&A With Dr. Laurie: Adding Accessories

Q&A With Dr. Laurie: Adding Accessories

Sex Toys For Men

Q: I once dated a girl who had a whole damn drawer full of sex toys…and now that there’s a pandemic and dating is less…frequent, I think it’s time that I, as a man, explore these uncharted territories. Do you, in your great wisdom, have any opinion over what kind of sex toys men like best? Things seem to have come a long way than there being one creepy-looking kind of inflatable doll.

 

A: You are correct that there are so many more sex toys for women than there are for men. There are a variety of male masturbators/strokers like sleeves or “fleshlights” (where you stick your penis in, and it provides different sensations). There are super fancy ones and basic ones. There are also penis pumps to give you a firmer erection. There are toys that simulate the feeling you get from oral sex. Another popular toy for men is a prostate massager. There are also toys that are used for anal stimulation. One site that has lots of options for men is the company Lovehoney. As for inflatable dolls, I don’t think many men have ever used them—they are more of a gag gift. Today’s sex doll, however, is quite different and far, far more expensive and very realistic looking.

Wearing Women’s Panties

Q: Can men wear women’s panties? I have the desire to wear women’s panties, and I think about wearing women’s panties all the time. Do I need help?

A: People can wear whatever they want. Who are you hurting if you wear women’s panties under your clothes? The only time I would say someone needs help for something like this is when the person is distressed by their urges or when it directly impacts their relationship. For example, if you are in a relationship and your partner feels disturbed by your desires, then it may be time to get help as a couple so that your partner understands your desires better and can decide for themselves if they can have a relationship with someone who has a particular fetish. I have met many couples who have found a way to integrate their partner’s fetish into their relationship or sex life. But that may not always be the case. Therapy can certainly help in this regard. People have all kinds of sexual preferences; thus, I am wary of saying that this or that is “not normal”. It’s not about what’s normal. I look at whether an activity is safe, consensual, and legal. If you are not hurting anyone, and you feel good about your desires (not distressed), then who am I or anyone else to judge? Here is a scenario when it would not be legal, say: a guy who loves to wear/use panties, but he steals them from women’s homes. This is an illegal act that could get him into trouble, and it is a violation of someone else’s rights. In such a case, it is problematic.

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