Difficulty with orgasm
Q: It is to my understanding that some girls struggle to orgasm. Don’t get me wrong, our sex life is great, but she doesn’t feel anything, even when she masturbates, she doesn’t feel anything. There are times when she does, but it’ll only be for a few seconds before she goes quiet again. She’s also been like this with her exes. My question is, what could be the reason for her not reaching an orgasm and how can she have an orgasm?
Q: In my life I have had long term relationships, one of them current, with women who can’t ever come. The first one had never come with a partner, and the second one (the current one) may have never come at all. What things can I do and steps can I take to try to help her come? What can she do to help herself?
A: It is not uncommon for some women to have trouble reaching orgasm. In fact, about 10-15% of women never orgasm at all. There are some that can only orgasm while being penetrated vaginally and some only while having their clitoris stimulated (in fact, 75% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm). Assuming that there are no medical reasons why she cannot reach orgasm, we have to take into consideration that sex for many women is very much in their heads. One option is to try to verbally arouse her. Tell her how beautiful you think she is, how sexy she is, how much you love her and want to please her, how much she pleases you. You could also try exploring the use of sex toys and she can see what works best for her. Sex toys, like vibrators for clitoral stimulation, have a high rate of success among many women. Sometimes if a woman has a blindfold on while she is being orally pleasured, it can help her block out the rest of the world and concentrate on being aroused. One of the major keys for a woman to achieve orgasm is to know and explore her own body to see what works for her. Many women are not aware that the clitoris is actually a much larger structure than simply what is felt on the outside. Ultimately, everybody is different, and when a woman knows what arouses her, physically or mentally, she can guide her partner to help her achieve orgasm.
Gay male does not want anal sex
Q: As a male member of the LGBT community, it’s expected of me to be into anal sex, but that is not the case at all. I’m really not willing to try it, neither as a top or as a bottom, and I feel my partners should respect my decision. The issue is that I’m not very well informed about other ways to have fun sex with a partner, and how to practice those activities in a safe way
A: To answer this question, I turned to one of our regular contributors, Dr. Stacy. This is what she had to say:
Being gay doesn’t automatically mean that every gay male enjoys anal sex, as it doesn’t define your identity as a gay male. You would need to find a partner that’s ok with not having or receiving it in their relationship, because for some men it’s important to them, just as not having it is important to you. There are many pleasurable ways that both people can still enjoy themselves. Here are some ideas:
Oral Sex: By switching it up (using different techniques, positions, etc.), oral sex can still provide enjoyment and intimacy. There is also a sensitive area between the penis and balls called the taint, which can feel great when stimulated.
Mutual Masturbation: This can be a great turn on, whether you’re watching your partner take care of himself or participating yourself. Use lotions and lubes to make things glide better and use different touches for different sensations.
Intercrural Penetration: This is also called “thigh fucking”, where you place your penis in between your partner’s legs or thighs, which gives the sensation of penetration. Lube usually helps make it glide better. This can be done in a couple different positions and can still allow you to feel like there’s penetration without actually penetrating. You could also rub your head of the penises together, where it is most sensitive.
Toys: There are many toys you can use, such as masturbation sleeves (with lube), where it can be tight enough to imitate the feeling of being inside someone. You can also use a prostate massager or butt plug while doing the intercrural penetration so both partners can receive stimulation at the same time.
These are just a few ideas to help. As you see there are many ways to enjoy being with another male and still enjoying yourself to the fullest. You have an entire body to explore with amazing erogenous zones so have fun trying to find them with your partner.
Bleaching pubic hair
Q: Would you recommend me bleaching my pubes? One of the many girls I’m currently seeing suggested it, but I’m worried about the health risks involved.
A: Although this a popular trend that is sported mainly by porn stars, it could be a disaster if not done properly. The main risk would be burning your skin with the bleach. There are many mild bleaching agents out there that some say work, but it has to be applied with a mascara wand to avoid the skin, which can be very tricky. A health risk would be the bleaching agent getting on your skin or dripping onto your genitals if you apply too much. Bleach is bleach and is a very strong chemical agent. Some people have used hair dye without any harsh chemicals to avoid any unpleasant consequences.
