Why Women Watch Lesbian Porn
Q: I’m a woman. I’m 100% straight. I’ve only ever been attracted to men and been with men—but when I watch porn, I’m only looking at the women. When it’s on a screen, I just find the men kind of gross, whereas the women look amazing from head to toe. I end up watching a lot of lesbian porn as a result. I’ve heard my girlfriends talk about porn, and from the sounds of it, I’m the only one like this. But once again—totally not into women IRL! What’s the deal? What does it mean?
A: Please let me reassure you that many self-identified straight women enjoy watching lesbian porn. One look at Pornhub’s analytics shows that “lesbian” is at the top of the list of most-viewed categories among women. It has been shown that women relate to this kind of porn because it is more erotic, maybe more realistic than hetero porn. Plus, it focuses on what women enjoy most—oral sex (whereas hetero porn focuses more on intercourse). Furthermore, the kinds of porn/fantasies people indulge in says nothing about what you want to do IRL. So go ahead and enjoy your fantasies without judging them!
Masturbation vs Partnered Sex
Q: I masturbate a lot. Like, a few times a day. There’s rarely a day where I don’t jerk off at least once. It’s been going on like this for years. I’m dating a girl I like, but I find I just can’t cum when we have sex. When I jerk off, I watch porn and I guess I also grip pretty hard. I really like her and I’m turned on enough to get a boner, but it’s just not the same sensation that I’m used to using every day to cum so I just can’t get there. I’m pretty sure it’s just physical, but now that I’m writing this, I worry that it’s mental too. Have I broken myself? How can I adjust?
A: You have not broken yourself! However, your assessment of the situation seems to be quite accurate. You have become so used to one particular form of stimulation that it is difficult for you to get there any other way. Now that you have a girlfriend, try and hold off on your masturbation activities and “save yourself” for sex with her. Your body will be able to adjust to new types of stimulation. It may take some time, so be patient and reassure your girlfriend that it has nothing to do with her or your attraction to her.
Exploring With Anal Toys
Q: Hi Dr. Laurie. I want to know how to explore with anal toys to see what a P-spot orgasm is like. Any tips?
A: The “P” spot refers to the prostate gland in men, which is a small gland that is found in the area between the testicles and the anus. You can stimulate it by massaging this area (the perineum) or by insertion of a finger or sex toy in the anus. There are toys made specifically for this purpose—called butt plugs or anal vibrators. Whatever you do, do not insert anything into your anus that is not specifically made for anal play. All toys made for this purpose have a base, so as not to get sucked up into the rectum.
