Small Breasts
Q: Hi! I am a 19-year-old girl and my boobs haven’t grown much at all. My boobs are barely a bump off my chest with a nipple on them. It is weird because my Mom has huge boobs that are natural. I really wish I could get bigger boobs because I don’t feel sexy at all and all my friends have big boobs.
A: Breasts come in all shapes and sizes. And by the way, studies have shown that it is a myth that all men like big boobs. Many men find small breasts very sexy. In fact, look at the runway models of today—they often are quite flat-chested. There are some great advantages to having small breasts—you don’t have to wear a bra, running doesn’t hurt your chest, you can get padded bras to add volume, your back doesn’t hurt from carrying around big breasts, and many other advantages.
However, I do understand your discomfort with your body image. Some women report developing larger breasts once they go on the birth control pill. You also have the option of breast augmentation surgery. Try and love yourself as you are, and celebrate your small breasts!
Deep Throat
Q: Do pornstars take their tonsils out to deep throat?? Because it looks hard to do.
A: That’s an interesting question! No, they do not get their tonsils taken out, but they do practice lots. If you want to do it yourself, then it will take some practice, but just about anyone can do it unless you have a really bad gag reflex. No one is born being good at it, you have to learn how to control what is a natural gag reflex. You can start by practicing with your fingers, by sticking them down your throat until you can control your gag reflex. You may have to stop and start by taking some breaths in between.
When you have managed to no longer gag with your fingers, move to practicing on a flexible dildo. Experiment with moving it around until you find a comfortable position. Then you can move on to the real thing. Take it slow, and don’t forget to breathe. Make sure that the penis is well lubricated with saliva. Also do not forget your safe sex practices. Remember that you can catch an STI this way, so have your partner wear a condom.
Quadriplegic
Q: Hello, I am a quadriplegic with very little movement. I have full sensation of my body and have the same sexual desires as anyone else. Unfortunately, I am unable to masturbate myself and have not been able to find a sexual partner. I thought about escort services, however, I do not have the funds to do this on a regular basis. Can you recommend any other ways to alleviate sexual frustration and find release?
A: I wish I had an easy answer for you as I truly feel for your situation. Just because someone is disabled does not mean they are not sexual, as you clearly have indicated. You may want to look into sex toys that have been adapted. There are hands-free masturbation devices like this one. You can also check out this link for more information about sexuality as a quadriplegic.
Sadness After Sex
Q: I am a 25-year-old man and I’ve recently been feeling depressed after sex and masturbation. I’m married, every orgasm just leaves me feeling empty and sad. It’s pushed me to have more sex, but I feel so broken. I don’t think I could attribute it to any outside stimulus. I just feel bad.
A: What you are describing is something called post-coital dysphoria (PCD) or “post-coital tristesse.” The symptoms include feelings of agitation, melancholy, anxiety, or sadness after sex. It has nothing to do with the quality of the sex or the person you are with. There has even been research done in this area out of the University of Technology in Australia. They found that around 40% of men said they had experienced PCD in their lifetime and 4% said it happened on a regular basis.
The physiological explanation is that orgasms active a flood of feel-good hormones followed by prolactin, which could result in a rather intense comedown for some people. There’s not much you can do about it except accept it, and talk about it with your partner. Try cuddling after until the feeling of sadness passes.
